Today, I had probably the most fun class period I've ever had in college. In my Calc II class that I TA, the professor and I were chatting with some of the students (it was a free homework / discussion period) and somehow the topic drifted to Thailand. The professor said "oh you should be careful about getting it on with people in Thailand...if you know what I mean." The students were all like "no, not really...". So I introduced them to....Thai transvestites! (or ladyboys, as they are also referred to).
They are basically men who have underwent surgery to become women. One of the students looked up a picture of a ladyboy, and the students were all like "OMG I CANT BELIEVE THATS A MAN". So, what did we do the rest of the class? That's right...we looked up every ladyboy online quiz that we could find, and tried to identify the women from the...non-women lol. It's surprisingly hard...I'd encourage everyone to give it a shot lol. I'd never laughed so hard in class before, I was practically crying because I was laughing so much, and my jaws ached so much.
Here are some tips: if they look sexy, they are probably male. The converse is true...the ugly appearance ones in these quizzes are usually female. hahah.
But on one of the quizzes I saw the following comment:
"Dude, what does it matter if they're actually guy or girl? As long as they don't have dicks, I'll have sex with them whether or not they're a tranny or not".
This curious comment got me thinking: how does one exactly define a man and a woman? More importantly, how does it define the attraction that we feel towards members of the opposite or same sex? How does one define the sexuality of a transvestite? Societal perceptions are obviously very important in this, but...just how much do we hear about societal perceptions of transvestites?
If a guy got rid of his...equipment, and retooled his entire body to resemble that of a female, does that make him a girl? The moral implications of this seem to be extremely broad, and seemingly negative - should this be disclosed with any partners that the person wishes to have, does this count as misinformation, etc etc.? On the surface, this seem like a pretty clear-cut issue - it would seem obvious that the ladyboy should disclose their "real" selves, and be "moral" and "ethical" about it. Digging deeper, it seems to reveal a paradoxical consideration in my mind.
If a gay guy chooses to have sex with a girl, or if a lesbian chooses to have sex with a guy, would society demonize them for it? No...I'd say that society actually backs this choice rather than the "come out and let them know" version. So what makes it different for transsexuals?
It seems that somehow, the notion of CHOICE is very important in this issue. Homosexuality is not something that can be chosen. Transsexuality, however, is a different story. But the situations seem similar: a closeted lesbian chooses to have a relationship with a guy, or a ladyboy chooses to have a relationship with a guy. So what's different? Not the hurt that would be imparted on the unknowing person in the relationship, that should remain the same. If homosexuals can hide their sexualities (and be in denial) when looking for a relationship, it would seem that the same would apply to transsexuals.
But just consider these two statements, and what they make you feel:
-"I broke up with my girlfriend because she was a lesbian."
-"I broke up with my girlfriend because she was transsexual."
If you felt more negative/weirded-out by the second one, you're not alone.
I've thought about it some more, and I've realized that I can't come to a conclusion on why I should feel this way, why societal views on this issue should differ, or if there is a right answer to this question. I'd love to hear your comments, or feel free to stalk my blog silently.
-FCDH
Friday, December 4, 2009
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I was going to chide you for using the term "transvestite," but you eventually started to refer correctly to "transsexual", so I let it go :)
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you say that transsexuals have a choice. Most transsexuals would disagree. They feel that they were born in the wrong body, and they always knew that inside they were the opposite sex. They do, of course, have a choice in undergoing surgery.
As to your question about the ethics of the transsexual disclosing that their sex assigned at birth is different from their gender identity...I personally think it would be best for the transperson to tell their partner when they are ready to begin a sexual relationship. I think it would be unfair for a transperson to be expected to always introduce themselves to a prospective partner as "Hi, I'm Bob/Mary, and I'm a transsexual." But, from my perspective, it would be reasonable for the person to come clean before he/she has sex with his/her partner.
Of course, transsexuals who have had gender reassignment surgery and can have a normal sex life as a member of their chosen sex would probably consider it unfair to be expected to discuss the issue every time they have a sexual encounter. Many transsexuals consider themselves straight--i.e., a man-to-female transsexual will be attracted to a straight male. If they were to be open and honest with every male they want to have sex with, they will probably find constant rejection. I can imagine that would be very lonely and frustrating. So the transsexual is stuck between a rock and a hard place: either they can be honest with their perspective partners, and most likely be rejected, and thus suffer constant loneliness, or they can withhold the information and live a normal life, but knowing that their sexual partners would be disgusted if they discovered the transsexual's history.
By the way, I would suggest reading about the Native American concept of Two-Spirit. Among Native American cultures, before European contact there was an acceptance of people who indentified with another gender. There is also the similar concept of Hijra in India. I just find it interesting that in our so modern and developed country, we have such strong aversion to transgendered people, while other cultures have long been accepting of such people.
we should talk about this issue more in depth once i am done my exams :) i had a good research on it for debate last year
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