Hi Readers,
Today was just a typical day. Nothing really special, maybe apart from going to Facebook to eat dinner. I was stuck on a MATLAB problem, and had been stuck on it for an hour or so, when my Facebook decided to ping me with a new message. The message originated from someone I did not immediately recognize. I took a closer look, and realized it was one of my friends from grade 9 (would equate to freshman year in high school).
It is incredible how much catching up you can do with a person you had completely forgotten about just an hour ago. It feels so weird! She is still so bubbly and enthusiastic like before. It's almost as if time had frozen in place and now we are back in the same time and place. Place being in computer drafting class, where we'd waste a bunch of time during class playing stupid little online flash games during class.
She apparently has 2 kids now and has a degree in nursing. Didn't know that she had spent the bulk of her life in San Francisco either - quite an interesting life. It's amazing what Facebook can do to rekindle old friendships. How miraculous technology is!
Cheers,
FCDH
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Mother's Day
I called my mom and wished her a happy Mother's Day. The call ended with her in tears because I still "refuse to get a girlfriend." Not sure what to do, if anything. Perhaps I should just put a time limit on our conversation, or when she starts asking about "special friends" I should just pretend that the signal is weak and that I can't hear her. Another rough year ahead in this arena, I suppose.
-FCDH
-FCDH
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Take a Breath, Take a Risk
Hi Readers,
It has been a phenomenally long time since I have updated my blog, and I realize that. Not a week goes by without me thinking about it. But tonight, there's something I want to write down for future me.
Traditionally speaking, it has always been an extremely difficult thing for me to say "no" to anything. Whether it be to take up a role, take up some responsibilities, or something else, I feel the compelling urge to say "yes" regardless of what I am asked (within reason). It has led to some of the best things that could have happened to me. However, I have often found myself willingly walking into time traps which I knew would be time traps from the beginning. I attribute this to a lack of foresight on my part. But tonight, I said "no". And boy, it was a difficult "no" to say indeed.
In the past year, I have served as the co-chair of Stanford's Graduate Student Council. It was an extremely rewarding experience, and in the process, I learned a lot. However, it was also an extremely time consuming process, one which I told myself that I was not going to repeat again this year. I swore to myself that I would give it up, in hopes of getting more done on other things which I was more passionate about. While the chair position is indeed a glamorous position, it sure feels a lot more glamour looking in from the outside than actually being inside it. Therefore, as the election for the new chair grew closer and closer, I looked forward to shedding this leadership role from my burdens, and doing other things which I am actually more passionate about.
Today, one of the people running to be one of the new chairs asked me to run with him as the co-chair of next year's GSC. Apparently there was not a single other person who wanted to run for chair. It is hard to describe the feeling that came over me when I found that out. It was literally like I had to say "yes". I didn't want the position, but I also didn't want to GSC to turn to crap next year, so I really had an overwhelming urge to say "yes". I know that wasn't his intent, but for about 5 minutes I was scrunching my face and trying not to say anything affirmative that I'd regret later. I eventually managed to stutter out a "I'll let you know" and hung up. But it shook me hard. I had to sit for some minutes while the two sides battled it out in my brain, before my roommate knocked some sense into me. I eventually managed to write an apologetic email saying that I wasn't willing to commit to it.
I know what happens when I bite off more than I can chew. I end up performing poorly on all the responsibilities I have, by trying to balance time between everything. But even knowing that, I want to take on the responsibilities anyways. I guess I am afraid that other people may do a crappy job with what they are given (which, ironically, is what happens to me). Given a choice, it seems I'd rather take on all these responsibilities and let all the potential crumble to dust, than to leave the opportunity for someone else who may do a better job. I wonder if it's a trait that I've been brought up with - to think of yourself over the greater good, or to go with the known instead of taking a risk with the unknown.
Today's a good start to changing this destructive behavior of mine. I said "no" to the position, and I am feeling better about that decision with every minute that passes. Even if the new chairs turn out to be horrible, it won't be my fault for not running. It's out of my hands now. Maybe in the future I will be able to say "no" more often and take more risks.
-FCDH
It has been a phenomenally long time since I have updated my blog, and I realize that. Not a week goes by without me thinking about it. But tonight, there's something I want to write down for future me.
Traditionally speaking, it has always been an extremely difficult thing for me to say "no" to anything. Whether it be to take up a role, take up some responsibilities, or something else, I feel the compelling urge to say "yes" regardless of what I am asked (within reason). It has led to some of the best things that could have happened to me. However, I have often found myself willingly walking into time traps which I knew would be time traps from the beginning. I attribute this to a lack of foresight on my part. But tonight, I said "no". And boy, it was a difficult "no" to say indeed.
In the past year, I have served as the co-chair of Stanford's Graduate Student Council. It was an extremely rewarding experience, and in the process, I learned a lot. However, it was also an extremely time consuming process, one which I told myself that I was not going to repeat again this year. I swore to myself that I would give it up, in hopes of getting more done on other things which I was more passionate about. While the chair position is indeed a glamorous position, it sure feels a lot more glamour looking in from the outside than actually being inside it. Therefore, as the election for the new chair grew closer and closer, I looked forward to shedding this leadership role from my burdens, and doing other things which I am actually more passionate about.
Today, one of the people running to be one of the new chairs asked me to run with him as the co-chair of next year's GSC. Apparently there was not a single other person who wanted to run for chair. It is hard to describe the feeling that came over me when I found that out. It was literally like I had to say "yes". I didn't want the position, but I also didn't want to GSC to turn to crap next year, so I really had an overwhelming urge to say "yes". I know that wasn't his intent, but for about 5 minutes I was scrunching my face and trying not to say anything affirmative that I'd regret later. I eventually managed to stutter out a "I'll let you know" and hung up. But it shook me hard. I had to sit for some minutes while the two sides battled it out in my brain, before my roommate knocked some sense into me. I eventually managed to write an apologetic email saying that I wasn't willing to commit to it.
I know what happens when I bite off more than I can chew. I end up performing poorly on all the responsibilities I have, by trying to balance time between everything. But even knowing that, I want to take on the responsibilities anyways. I guess I am afraid that other people may do a crappy job with what they are given (which, ironically, is what happens to me). Given a choice, it seems I'd rather take on all these responsibilities and let all the potential crumble to dust, than to leave the opportunity for someone else who may do a better job. I wonder if it's a trait that I've been brought up with - to think of yourself over the greater good, or to go with the known instead of taking a risk with the unknown.
Today's a good start to changing this destructive behavior of mine. I said "no" to the position, and I am feeling better about that decision with every minute that passes. Even if the new chairs turn out to be horrible, it won't be my fault for not running. It's out of my hands now. Maybe in the future I will be able to say "no" more often and take more risks.
-FCDH
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