Sunday, June 12, 2011

Saying Goodbye

In a blink of the eye
As if it was a shadow of imagination
Flashing across the corner of our eyes
Goodbye to our world

One hundred and twenty million seconds
Thirty five thousand hours
One thousand four hundred days
Goodbye to four years

Laughter echoing from the ether
Tears all untouched and pristine
Hugs have become phantom memories
Goodbye to my friends

The familiar beyond miles of fog
Lost with only a flashlight
Without a blazed trail
Goodbye to my compass

I once thought I knew it all
But now I finally realized
Knowing is not a substitute for living
And so I said

Goodbye

I will love you

Forever.

-FCDH
06/12/2011

Friday, June 3, 2011

The Glass is Always Half Full

Hi Readers,

This is just a quick post to remind everyone (and myself) about the importance of looking at life optimistically. It is so easy to slip into a rut or depression, and to sulk for months, or maybe years. In the meantime, life is just soaring by , oblivious to your problems.

From my own experiences in high school and early in college, I found that I always looked at life pessimistically. Situations that were not (really) that bad were always blown out of proportion. Even my homosexuality, which I regard as my biggest "issue", is not really an issue when we compare it to the global absolute. It took me so long to learn how to deal with it, and the key is to see that LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Once I embraced this fact, it wasn't a far stretch to see how good I have it in life.

So what if I am gay and may never be accepted by my family? At least I don't have hemophilia, or Alzheimer's, or schizophrenia. I have all my limbs, I'm not an amputee, or paraplegic, or suffer from Down's syndrome. I'm in college; I don't have to work day and night to pay off loans or to support my family, I don't have a drug addiction that I must pay off, and I don't need to worry about extortion or blackmail by anybody. I'm not an orphan; I have a family that cares about me and provides for me, even though they may never accept my homosexuality.

My five senses are still working, I can feel, smell, taste, touch, and see. My friends are here for me, I am not alone. I am never alone. Look at the squirrel, rabbits, and the fluffy clouds. Hear the water lapping at the edges of (somewhat disgusting) Boneyard Creek. Taste the ice-cold delicious water coming from the water fountain. Feel the wind brush by you as it continues on its nonstop journey around the world. Doesn't it make you feel so minuscule? We are such a small part of a bigger whole. How dare we feel self-important, as if we really mattered in this world? The most we can do is try, to make a difference in something we care about, or in somebody's life. And that is a quest that has no beginning and no end, but through it, our souls will live and love forever.

Embrace life. Do you see how wonderful everything is? How can we be justified in decrying our own situations when there are so many people who live life courageously, despite having incurable diseases and afflictions? Sure, there are days when we will be down and cursing at God for these problems. But sooner or later, we need to raise our heads, smell the roses, and see all the good things in life. And thank God for letting us be here to experience it. To live life as it was meant to be lived: with passion and determination.

-FCDH