Israel, Come out of the Anti-Semitism Closet

With the recent assassination of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh in Dubai, and the Dubai police's assessment of the evidence which points to Israeli Mossad Secret Service as having committed the act, Israel is claiming ignorance to the act right now. Which is fine for now...we do try to promote an innocent-until-proven guilty justice system. At least in the criminal courts anyways. But I have a feeling that Israel will be proven guilty, and when it does - I'm betting that they're going to resort to calls of "Anti-Semitism" again.

One thing I cannot stand about Israel, is how easily the words "Anti-Semitic" come to the lips of Israeli politicians.
Goldstone Report? ANTI-SEMITIC!!
Criticism about the deaths of thousands of civilians in the Lebanon War? ANTI-SEMITIC!!
Criticism of settlements? The barrier running through the West Bank? Its nuclear policy? Humanitarian records on Gaza and West Bank? All anti-Semitic, according to Israeli politicians.

I guess Israel's gotten used to countries stuttering and backing out of their comments with these simple 2 words. But sooner or later, there's always a backlash. When these two words don't mean anything anymore, what will Israel hide behind? The post-independence African countries are finding this out...shouts of "Colonialism!! Apartheid!!" are no longer viable for politicians to utter to their constituents to explain their actions. And therefore we have diverging paths for these countries...will Israel become a Zimbabwe or a Tanzania?

Israel, the world is not anti-Semitic. They are merely anti-Israeli, similar to anti-Americanism. We do not discriminate against you because you are a Jewish state, but because you flaunt the rules and laws that are established to try and bring peace, and then use the lack of peace as an excuse to break more rules and laws.

It's a vicious cycle that Israel's caught in now, between a rock and a hard place. While I don't necessarily disagree with the assassination (apart from the subtlety with which it was carried out), Israel needs to be a man and stop hiding behind the anti-Semitic shield. It's going to happen, sooner or later...and you may still be able to salvage your integrity if you do it sooner.

-FCDH

Law....?

Today, as I walked out of my class on the First Amendment, my professor was walking beside me, so we began to chat. I had the following short conversation with my law professor:

Prof: So are you going to become a lawyer?

Me: Oh no! I'm studying electrical engineering.

Prof: Engineering! What are you doing there? You should be studying law! It's so much more rewarding than engineering. Plus you would be good at it!

Ever since he said that, I've been thinking about this pretty much the whole day. I do find his class intensely interesting, when we talk about all the Supreme Court cases dealing with the First Amendment. Plus when we had to do research for our presentation on First Amendment applied to educational atmospheres, I found it really enjoyable and fun. Plus, I do love to argue and debate with people, and I'm usually very rational and pragmatic in my trains of thought.

I will admit, I've never been completely satisfied with electrical engineering. It always seemed like something was missing; even though I'm doing fantastically in EE, my heart just didn't seem to be completely there. But all other alternatives to EE that I had though about are now underneath it. There were really only two: civil engineering (which I stopped thinking about after CEE 498), and music performance (which was never a realistic dream, I suppose). But law...it may be just what I have been searching for.

I do think about going to public policy in the future. In my previous blogs, I've talked about how I don't think I am a "creator", and worrying about it. Now, I think that law might be able to bridge the difference that I was looking to reconcile.

But I have come to love EE...so I'll have to think about it some more, and definitely talk to my advisers and other people about it. But as of right now, I think I might just have created a possible future that I've never contemplated before.

-FCDH

Memories of Chinese New Years

The Chinese New Years is the quintessential Chinese experience. Especially as both my mom and dad's side of the family started off in the countryside as farmer's, I've probably had more fun out of this holiday than most people that I know.

Out of everything I can remember when I was small, I remember some things vividly. One of these is the Chinese New Years celebration at grandma's place in Changhua. Nostalgia.

--

I am shaken awake groggily by my sister, who grumpily tells me to get up and promptly leaves my room. She's not a morning person at all, but as she is extremely ticklish my dad always resorts to tickling her to wake her up. Which means she gets into a grumpy mood. Also means that I should watch her expressions carefully through the morning - don't want to annoy her even more.

My mom's already making breakfast for the family. It's soggy rice porridge, with fluffed pork and pickles and peanuts on the side. She usually goes all out in the mornings where something important will happen. Else she usually makes scrambled eggs.

Eat. Parents admonish me to pack my toothbrush. We walk outside our apartment into the still-dark night. Doesn't mean it's not humid - Taipei is eternally humid and hot, even at night. Dad's ridiculously old Geo is parked in the underground garage. We stuff our baggages in the trunk, and dad maneuvers it effortlessly out of the cramped spot and garage.

It is only 4am, but already there are loads of cars on the roads. I zone out and the Taipei City scenery flashes past me. The giant 10-lane boulevards, smaller streets, cramped alleys. Vendor carts are unmanned today - nobody will be manning them during Chinese New Years. We get onto the highway leaving Taipei, and I try to fall asleep in the car. Fortunately I succeed, and avoid having to deal with motion sickness in the car. Nothing ruins a long car ride than throwing up every 20 minutes.

I wake up and look at the clock. It's around 9am - we've been driving for close to 5 hours. "Where are we?" I ask, and was told that we have only reached about halfway to our destination. Traffic is beginning to back up all the way from Taichung City, and the car slows down to a run, then a jog, then a walk, then a crawl. I am relieved - no motion sickness any more - and fall asleep again.

It's noon, and we are weaving around the maze of countryside roads on our way to grandparent's house (grandparents from my dad's side) in the township of Huatan in Changhua County. I have never been able to understand how my dad remembers the way so accurately. I consider myself to be an expert in geography and directions, but even I cannot remember the twisting mazes of roads and alleys. Along the way, my dad brings up, for the umpteenth time, how my grandparents from my mom's side gave me a horrible name (Defensive and Punctual), and that they should have gone with the name given by my grandparents from my dad's side (Scholarly and Diligent).

Suddenly, we're there. A blue cast-iron gate, with crudely-shaped lion heads on either side. I get out and run to press the doorbell, and a loud clanging sound ensues at the push of the button. The gate opens with the screeching sound of metal on metal, courtesy of the rusting joints, and behold - it's one of my uncles. Which one is this again? I can never distinguish between my dad's 5 brothers.

We pull into the somewhat spacious courtyard, and the adults unload the luggages while the children run off to find cousins. My dad maneuvers the car to a corner of the courtyard, beside the stagnant pond - whose only conceivable purpose must have been to serve as mosquito breeding grounds.

The courtyard is surrounded on three sides by my grandparent's one-story dwelling. It is hard to describe the house - the architecture is just so different from Western style. Numerous doors lead into the courtyard, so one could simply walk from the courtyard into any location in the house. Of course, there are double-layered doors - one for locking, though this is rarely done in the countryside, and one with a mosquito net to ventilate the house while minimizing the threat of mosquitoes.

The rest of the day passes in a whir. The adult men are gathered around in the living room, having heated discussions of politics. Kuomintang Party vs. Democratic Progressive Party. My dad's brothers all have the same propensity for irrational arguments, so before long they are yelling at each other and not listening to each other's points at all. Then the women brings another round of tea, the discussion cools down, only to restart the cycle again. Adult women gather to make a austere but sumptuous-tasting feast. Lots of chopping sounds interspersed with gossip - whose kid got into Taichung First High.....yes my husband bought me the expensive dress from the luxury store...etc. Some of the teenage girls help with making sweet dumplings from scratch, making the dough and patiently wrapping each small ball of filling with some dough. The kids run around and play simple games - jump rope, biking around the farms nearby, climbing the tree in the courtyard, playing cards; somebody brought a connect-four. Sometimes we try to help with the dumpling making. The sisters let us help with a few, before shooing us away and re-folding the ones we folded badly. An euphoric mood.

The night begins to fall. Those who go out for exploration around the countryside begin to return with giant mosquito welts. An intense mosquito repellent application session ensues, and soon the entire courtyard smells headily like camphor tree oil. But the mosquitoes stay away. The teenagers begin to plan their firework/firecracker and drinks run to the store. As usual, kids can't go along - "why?... Because kids under 10 years old can't go...you can't just make up the rules!!...MOM!!...kids stop bickering and get us some water for the kitchen from the pump in the yard!"

Soon the dishes are arranged in the dining room. By this time almost all the relatives from my dad's side have arrived - 8 uncle-aunts, 21 cousins. We fill up our plates and head out to the courtyard, and sit on the ledge while we eat. Already, we can hear firecrackers and firework sounds coming from around. And soon after, the kids lay lethargically around the courtyard. Those who have the energy to get in groups begins to play games, while others just lay and looked at the bright stars overhead or chatted...armed, of course, with fly swatters.

In a while, the dumplings are ready, so we grab bowls and load up on the sesame and peanut-filled dumplings. They are absolutely delicious, but we are told - wait until everyone has had some before taking seconds. Teenagers begin to break open the fireworks and firecrackers, so we begin to have fun. Sparklers, roman candles, fountains, spinning shrieking tops, water whistles, and the quintessential rockets. For a while, nothing exists apart from the flashing lights and hissing sounds that emanate and reverberate from all around the courtyard. Even the adults come out and group together, watching the kids and teenagers have fun.

As midnight approaches, the adults begin cooking Age-noodles. These are unbroken strands of noodles, and superstition holds that the more you can eat without breaking the noodle, the longer your parents will live. The kids naturally try to best each other, so the courtyard fills with slurping noises. Around this time, the adults begin to hand out Red Packets, with money inside them, out to the kids and teenagers. The excitement of opening one, and seeing the money inside, is probably the best feeling in the world. Sometimes they only have 100 NTD ($4) inside, sometimes they have 500 NTD ($20), but it doesn't matter too much. Each gives to their own ability. Plans are rapidly drawn up with what the money will be used for - comic books, games, putting it into the bank, buying a basketball.

Midnight arrives. The largest and most brilliant firework is fired - the long string of firecrackers, and the mesmerizing popping and crackling announces the new year. The countryside fills with yells of "Xin Nian Kuai Le", or happy new year, and the remaining rockets are fired into the air. The highlight of the night is over. Superstition says, the longer you can stay awake on New Year's Eve before falling asleep, the longer your parents will live. Most of the kids make it until 1am, but beset by exhaustion of the day's activities, begin to turn in and pass out on the beds. By this time the adults have set up the individual mosquito nets on each bed, so kids don't have to worry too much about bites during the night. The adults have boiled large pots of water, so kids can now take quick baths with the rough soap and buckets, assuming they have not fallen asleep yet.

The last thought before I fall asleep - how could I have not managed to stay awake for longer so my parents will live a longer and healthier life?

And then, nothingness.

--

I returned to my grandparent's place last summer, for the first time in 12 years. It's been 9 years since they've both passed away. The landscape is alien - factories and workshops dominate the landscape where once farms stood. Yet as I stood outside the faded blue gate, I could not make myself open it. I didn't want to taint the innocence that, for me, still existed behind those gates. To contemplate everything that is forever out of my reach now apart from my memories.

Post-Script: I can't believe how nostalgic and emotional I am right now. I can close my eyes and visualize the entire scene playing out in front of my eyes. I haven't, and probably won't, experienced anything even remotely close to this ever again. How I so want to go back in time and experience it again.

-FCDH

Reflections of pre-Sir FCDH

In the past week, I suppose I've reached what could be the zenith of my college career so far: being awarded with the Knight of St. Patrick award this year, which is coined as the "highest honor given by the College of Engineering". It definitely feels great to be recognized for all the work I've put into extracurricular activity, and I'm quite proud of the fact that there is at least one Knight who's gay and in Electrical Engineering this year! Whoo-hoo! =)

With that being said, I do feel like I need to step back and look at everything from the beginning of college until now, and write about what's gotten me to the place where I am now.

It feels impossible that only three years have passed since I first came to this campus, scared out of my wits. I'm so glad I did skydiving and debate my freshman year, these were the two experiences that I'll cherish the rest of my life. The thrill of jumping off a plane, and diving into an unknown world of affirmative and negative arguments and evidence. The former made me courageous and started me down the path of acceptance, while the latter made me more assertive and started me down the path of engagement. To the Fountain of Knowledge that is this amazing university, I attribute my curiosity and thirst for knowledge.

And there's Engineers Without Borders. I can't express my gratitude to myself for having taken the time to read that first email advocating for "EWB Board Positions!", and even more for actually applying and following through with the interview process. I can't believe how much EWB has changed me for the better. I've met so many great people in this organization, and developed myself so much through my leadership positions and responsibilities that I could feel myself turning into a new person. To my friends, I attribute my passion for life.

I'm proud of myself for all those hours that I spent in the libraries and computer labs, grinding out homework solutions and reviewing for tests by myself. People said it was "weird, illogical, stupid, haughty, etc etc" to not want to work in a group on homework...and I always shrugged and acceded. Self-discipline is something that I've always had...and I must attribute my academic success to my parents. Mom and Dad, if you ever read this, I love you dearly...and I hope you love me back too.

But there's still so much to do! When I look at others, there's so much that I have not yet accomplished, and so much I want to work on. So many role models to follow. I've gotta step up my game!

-FCDH