Politics is Useless

Hi Readers,

When I first made the foray into the field of politics and history in high school, I'd periodically run into people who would caution me against digging too heavily into politics. I was destined for disappointment, so they said. These people were almost always the politic gurus - the people who know every details about everything you could possibly ask about politics.

Over my observation of both US and international politics in my 4 years here, I've slowly began to come to the same conclusion. Politics is really a dead-end street for everyone except politicians. The more you dig into it, the more you are convinced about the unfairness of the world, and the absolute stupidity and selfishness that characterizes what was once public office held in high esteem.

Politics was supposed to be a post defined by rationalism for service to the constituents that the politicians represent. The more you look into politics, the more you see - it is filled solely with selfish pragmatic decisions for the politician themselves. Nobody is able to make hard decisions that need to be taken anymore. Instead, politicians bicker and fight with each other, slinging mud and sticks at each other, in a choreographed dance for the sole purpose of leaving the hard decisions out of decision-making. As the media brainwashes and dumbs down Americans, the politicians are increasingly able to hide behind the stupidity of their constituents, in the guise of "this is what my constituents believe".

Politicians are supposed to serve their constituents. This doesn't mean being a slave to constituents - this means doing what is best for them. Constituents don't have the time to meddle in the complex affairs of politics, which is why the task is left up to the elected politicians. The job of the politician is precisely to make decisions on behalf of the constituents who don't understand these details. Personally, I don't want small-town America making my decisions, because they don't understand the potential for long-term implications and problems that may arise. Yet this is increasingly an argument being turned to for politicians.

I can't care about politics anymore. It literally ruins your life, to always be up in arms saying "why is XXXXX so stupid? Can't they see this is a short term solution that will fail in the long term?!?!". This isn't to say that I won't continue following politics - it just means that the next time Palin's spewing shit about Obama or Congress passes another tax cut for the wealthy, I'll just shrug and say "meh". There's nothing I can do about it - yet.

-FCDH

The Non-Issue of Homosexuality

Hi Readers,

I have harbored some reservations against the gay community community on this campus, and I thought I'd share my thoughts on the issue. Since I now (kinda) belong to this community, I've started taking note of the different ways that gay people fit into the local community. My reservations really only apply to those who fit and propagate the "gay stereotype" - effeminate, fashionable, flamboyant, and hungry for sex with every guy that moves. For themselves personally, I think it's fine that they act the way they do. After all, it is their life, and they are free to act as they wish. But I feel like by propagating the gay stereotype, all they are doing is to make homosexuality even more distinct separate group in society. But do we really want to be a distinctly separate group? Do we really want our sexual orientation to be the only quality that defines who we are?

In my opinion, in order to make homosexuality a non-issue, we should be aiming to integrate ourselves seamlessly into the society (sans the dating opposite sex part), in order to show others that we are not that different after all. Because in my mind, we aren't that different. We aren't unique, nor are we special...we're as special as anyone and everyone who was born with a sexual orientation, whether straight or gay. Our lives are much more than what you see on "Queer as Folk" or "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" - it spans across the entire spectrum of society, into virtually every corner that is enjoyed by "regular" people. Our world doesn't just revolve around sex, hooking up, and fashion - we care about academics, our careers, the environment, and everything else. We can accomplish the same things, enjoy the same hobbies, have the same causes that we care about, as those who were born to like the opposite sex. My belief is that acceptance of gays will come when people can see past our inherent sexuality trait, and see instead our extrinsic accomplishments in life.

That's another reason why I'm proud of my accomplishments. The first step towards acceptance is respect - and there's no easier way to earn that than to have solid accomplishments that people can look up to. To those people who believe that gay people will never amount to anything in life, or that gay people are somehow inferior to straight people, I'd like to be a counterexample to their mistaken beliefs. I'd like to think that I'm doing my part in improving the perception of gay people, in a different manner than people who wear pink and participate in Gay Pride parades. All they are doing is raising awareness about the existence of gay people ; what we are doing is much more important: mitigating the prejudices against gay people. To those of us who are taking this route, I salute you all - we have a long way to go, many battles to fight, but we will be a vital component in the victory in the end.

-FCDH

Notes from Mother Nature

Hi Readers,

I recently just returned from a 3-day trip to the Ozark Mountains. Me and BR backpacked through the Bell Mountain Wilderness area, and the Ozark Trail. We traveled 42 miles in 3 days, which is a pretty nice pace for us. We camped for two nights...both nights were windy, but it rained very hard on the second night. Overall, the trip was characterized by fatigue and the difference in time perception. We had expected to run into some other people while hiking the trail...but we were wrong. The only people we met were 2 people who looked like they were living off the land illegally (hunting, etc.). Aside from that, we saw no other human beings for the entire duration of our hike. And if my cellphone had not turned on by itself in my pocket, I would not have had any other communications other than with BR. As it is, I got a lovely text from JM about joining for a movie night with chocolate popcorns, and immediately felt hungry.

In the beginning of the hike, BR and I talked a lot on the trail. As time grew on, our pace grew faster, our physical separation began growing apart ; we began getting more and more out of breath, and we began talking less and less, until we probably spoke an average of 10 words to each other every half an hour. Under such conditions, I began humming music to myself to entertain myself on the trail. With this method, I discovered a surprising thing on the second day of my trekking: for me, classical music dulls pain.

At the end of our second day, we had to hurry back from Council Bluffs to Big River in order to reach a suitable campsite (that was not in a flash flooding zone). I was leading, so it was up to me to set a fast pace in order to make at least 2 miles in an hour. It seems like a distance that you can scoff at, but once you're out there trudging through the leaves and rocks, you'll realize how difficult it is. Especially with a 40-50 lb bag on your back. Anyways, my shoulders and feet were aching really badly at the time.

And then I put on Beethoven's Spring Sonata in my head.

It wasn't instantaneous, but within 5 minutes I had gotten really into the music, and the pain had all but disappeared. I could feel a blister on my feet, a persistent force on my shoulder, but none of it hurt anymore. Because of this, I was able to set a pace that took us 2 miles in 50 minutes, giving us enough time to refill our water at Big River and set up camp before it got too dark. This was really weird for me, so I decided to test it out more the next day.

So the next day along the trail, I hummed music in my head the whole way. Had some Nelly Furtado, Coldplay, Radiohead, Rihanna, even Katy Perry. For the first hour, that was all I really hummed. And my feet and shoulders were killing me by the time we took our first break, an hour into the hike. For the second hour, BR (who was leading) set a daunting pace through a part of the trail where it must have ascended 150-200 feet without stop. I put on Rachmaninoff's 3rd Piano Concerto and blazed through that section, and by the time we reached Ottery Creek, everything had stopped hurting and I felt even better than before we had started walking.

I used Rachmaninoff's 2nd and Prokofiev's 1st Concertos to crank out a 3 mile/hr pace on the uphill section from Ottery Creek to Bell Mountain. Still didn't feel any pain. But my ultimate proof of the power of classical music came in the last mile of hiking. It was entirely in darkness, and since I have a fear of the dark and BR is apparently afraid of raptors coming out of the dark a la Jurassic Park 2, both of us were on edge. And since BR and I were talking to ward off our fears of the forest at night, my shoulders and feet were beginning to kill me again. At the point when I couldn't stand it anymore, I put on Rachmaninoff's 2nd concerto again.

The pain disappeared.

The case is closed. Classical music is apparently my panacea. I think it may have something to do with the fact that the brain cannot focus on so many things at a time. I'm not complaining...I'd rather enjoy a grand concert in my head than the pain from my body. Though I tend to get so engrossed in the music that I start waving my arms around as if I'm conducting the music ("like a maniac", according to BR)...but I'll accept the weird WTF thoughts going through BR's head rather than the pain as well.

-FCDH

New Pair of Shoes?

Hi Readers,

First, just a clarification - I am not depressed, nor was the point of my last post to show depression.

Instead, the point of it was to give a first-person perspective of all the years in my life that I spent hiding myself. I'm sure we all have felt these moments before, but to feel it day in and day out - it really takes a toll on you. I still can't really quantify the psychological impact that this has probably had on my childhood and teenage years, nor would I want to. The road of what-ifs is a slippery one to tread on, and in any case it is now too late for it.

I want to use this post to encourage any readers who may be in similar situations to reflect on their own situations. Think about what is important, and whether or not you are willing to risk your psychological well-being on hiding. I am not making a broad general statement for every closeted person to come out. Instead, think carefully about what you will gain, and what you will lose, by doing so.

For me, what I gained was the ability to face society head-on. To admit it to yourself is the first step, and to admit it to others is the second. Not that there isn't any discomfort there - there certainly is. It is still a somewhat taboo issue, but it's an issue that will not be going away anytime soon. To be able to face society, and yourself as well, is to show that you realize that the reality is the reality. It's a harsh reality, but then nobody said life is fair.

With that being said, I still have my moments of doubt. About myself, and how the rest of my life will play out. Straight people will often offer encouragements, but from my perspective, it's like the US patting Aung San Suu Kyi on the head and saying, "oh yeah, Burma's going to get democracy one day."

But when is that day? Will it ever come? That's the million dollar question. For the subset of society that must still live, saddled with this weight on our heads and chests, the only thing we can do is hope. It is like seeing a few rays of the sun shining on the horizon...we can only hope that it is the dawn of something special, and not the dusk.

-FCDH

Alone In the Dark

Hi Readers,

Smiling is an amazing action. When we smile, somehow we feel happy. The muscles must be linked to the emotion for happiness. Want artificial happiness? Just smile a smile. It's healthy for the heart, mind, and soul. It's healthy for the individual, the masses, and the society.

Even if it ends at the mouth. The cold resentment encroaches upon its territory, but the flame holds. They recoil back and await, at the edge of the circle of light. Feeding off one another's energy. The soul glares in disapproval, the mind yearns to reveal its secrets, and the eyes hold daggers at the ready. Smile! It will make everything better. If only for a moment. Disappear now. The pieces fall into place.

It's so hard to smile a smile that hides it all.

Curl those lips into a humorless smile. While the eyes remain dull, having lost their vitality. While the pain stabs you in the heart. While the effort of holding back the burning sensation at your eyes makes you want to rip all your hair out. While you just want to smash the table to pieces. Rip every shred of paper. Burn everything in sight. Scream into the vacuum. Cry. Lament. Wallow.

While nary a ripple through the sands of time emanates outward from you. Has anyone noticed anything? Swallow it all. Mask everything. Smooth your voice. Clamp the filter back on.

Everything's ok. A mere pawn. Another day, in the sadistic game of life. The movement descends back into the underground. An unspoken threat of revolt hangs in the air.

-FCDH