Reflections on Stanford Visit

Hi Readers,

I am currently at the airport in Dallas, waiting for my connecting flight back to CU. Literally just 5 seconds ago, I ran into AX here, which was a nice surprise. AX flew out of Champaign on the same flight as me on Wednesday, except he was going to Intel for an interview and I was going to Stanford for my visit. What a coincidence that we ended up on the same flight again on the way back!

Anyways, back on topic. I visited Stanford on the DiscoverEE visitation trip for Electrical Engineers these past 2 days, and it was very, very eye-opening. Now I understand why people are encouraged to visit a campus before making their decision. My experience was a very mixed pot, and I am now feeling slightly stressed out about going to grad school (already).

Because Stanford couldn’t find a student host for me, I ended up finding one for myself. I crashed at my friend NJ’s place, where he had graciously taken me in and set up an air mattress for me. It was comfortable and he had a really nice studio (certainly much nicer than the studio that I used to live in). It ended up being really nice, because I could see the living conditions of the grad students, and NJ also took me around and told me a lot about things that I should expect and look for when I do come here.

Since I visited Stanford with JC and we had mutual friends there (including NJ), we ended up going out to dinner afterward at a place called the Straits. It was actually very nice and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Here’s a short summary of the positives and negatives I felt about Stanford.

Positives – Research

-I am really excited about the research opportunities that will be available at Stanford. There are so many professors there, and Stanford is really unique in that they encourage multidisciplinary and cross-discipline research. So I could literally go in and join a professor in the school of business, or agriculture, or physics, or any other major, as long as it is even tangentially related to Electrical Engineering.

-Stanford professors really encourage students to “hop” between different research groups in their first year, until they find a group that suits them. They even go as far as to say, “No I will not take you into my group immediately upon your entrance to grad school. But you can join my group temporarily to try it out first, and if it is a good match then I will take you.” This was really a big relief to me, because one of the things that I worried about was choosing a group that you are not compatible in, and then being miserable for the rest of your years while you try to battle out your research project and graduate. I always thought that it was a huge risk that I would have to take, but Stanford really minimizes this, which makes me feel better.

Negatives – Living

-Stanford’s campus seems somewhat boring. When I arrived at midnight on Wednesday, I did not see a single other person on the street apart from NJ, or cars as well. Though others told me that parties did happen in the dorms, it is still a big change from Illinois.

-Where are the restaurants and bars? After the student union closes at 10, the closest places to eat/drink are like 15-20 minutes away. No more Green St. and its bars and restaurants that are readily accessible and stay open till like 2am.

-HOUSING PRICES?!?! It seems universally agreed that at Stanford $600 is the lowest you can get, while on average it is around $1000 and can go up to $1600. And here I'm paying $320 a month. Ahhh that monthly rent payment will be so painful now!

I'm still pretty sure that I'll end up going to Stanford (since UC Santa Barbara seems to have rejected me, from its lack of response), despite JJ's attempts to convince me to go to UCSB. I'm just hoping that I won't regret it, since I turned down a full-time job at National Instruments to go to graduate school. It seems like the research is positive while the living is negative, which should balance out to neutral. I hope it'll all be great in the end.

Toodles for now! Next post on Japan earthquake.

-FCDH

Easy Cruising USA

Hi Readers,

So after my Canadian driver's license expired on my birthday, I finally decided to take my Illinois driver's test to get my license. Couple of reasons for it. I didn't want to leave Illinois without getting my Illinois driver's license (as kind of a souvenir). Also, I don't have a valid ID now for going to bars, and I'll be damned if I had to bring my passport to bars (another post on this some other day). So those were incentive enough for me to brave the crowds at the DMV (ugh).

It's been on-and-off the process for awhile, starting in my sophomore year. I took the written test during the fall of my sophomore year. I remember braving the elements, and taking the stupid buses to the DMV. Thankfully, this year I had someone who would drive me there, as well as let me borrow his car. I'm very thankful to JW for letting me borrow his car, and waiting with me at the DMV.

Several things I learned during this process:

1) The DMV's website sucks. A LOT. I swear I read somewhere on the website that the written test will remain valid for 8 years, so I went to the DMV expecting to take only the driving test. And then I was very rudely informed by the lady sitting behind the desk that my test had expired, and that I would have to re-take it.

2) The written test is really easy. Not having looked at any materials in the past 2 years, I was kinda freaking out when I walked up to the testing machine to take the test. I had forgotten how easy the test was. Apart from messing up on 4 questions, I passed with flying colors (90%) within a 5 minute period, and promptly left the booth feeling victorious.

3) The driving test is REALLY easy. Oh my god. I was definitely freaking out before the test, and during the test I made several errors. Errors that would've led to me failing in Canada, but errors that the examiner shrugged off in the US. I forgot to turn on my turn signal like 4 times, I forgot to stop at a red light when turning right, and I did my downhill parking incorrectly. So after 5 minutes of driving, when the examiner told us to go back to the DMV, I was thinking: "Crap I failed. ARGH. I have to come back again to re-take this crap? AHH THIS SUCKS." And then when the examiner said "Park in the far space" and I accidentally parked in the near one, I though for sure I had failed. Then he said "ok you passed" and I was like "OMG WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?!?!?"

I can't describe how ecstatic I was about passing my US driver's test first time, and not having driven for the past 3-ish years. I was so shocked at how lax the US driving exam was. In Canada, the test is definitely much longer, and the examiners don't shy away from failing people. I had to parallel park 3 times in my Canadian test, in different situations (no car, in front of a car, in between 2 cars). In my US test, I had to "parallel park" once, which might as well have been called "pulling over" because there were no other cars on the side of the road.

The 3-point turn in Canada was conducted in an alley dead-end where, if you went too far forward or backward, you would fall into a ditch on either side. The US 3-point turn was done in a parking lot.

I wonder why the US puts such a lack of importance in driving. Letting teenagers get their licenses so early, and having such a lax system, is probably problematic for combating drunk driving efforts.

But as of right now, I'm just happy that I have a license. Yay! Though my hair looks bad in it. Ugh. I need a haircut.

-FCDH

Birthday Smatterings

Hi Readers,

TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm 22 now. SO OLD. Ugh.

Anyways, here is just a short entry about recent happenings and plans, along with a short political note.

Politics first. I hold no grudge toward Republicans that are jumping on Obama's statement about the unconstitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), and the fact that the government will stop defending it in court. However, those Republicans that are flat-out LYING and saying that Obama is not enforcing the law can go to hell. Boehner, this is looking at you.

Obama is required by law to enforce the law until it is repealed by either Congress, or ruled unconstitutional by the judicial system. He is doing exactly what he is supposed to do. But I know that conservative news networks are going to spread this lie like all the other lies, under the guise of the freedom of speech. This supposed "freedom of speech" is what grates on my nerves about the US, and probably the biggest deterrent to me settling down long-term here in the US.

Ok, now updates. First, grad schools:

I found out that I was rejected by MIT, which was not a big deal for me. Actually, it came as more of a relief, because now I won't be plagued by the "California or Boston" debate. It's settled: I'm going to California for grad school. Now, as for where...only time will tell. Apart from Stanford, I've also heard back from UC San Diego (accepted with 1 year fellowship), which I'm 99% sure I will decline. The only way I'll go to UCSD would be if I visited (unlikely since their visitation dates conflict with Stanford's) and fell in love with it. Highly unlikely, especially since the only reason I applied in the first place was because my friend MW at UCSD encouraged me to do so.

I'm still waiting to hear back from Berkeley, UC Santa Barbara, and Caltech. At the moment, assuming I had gotten into all of these schools, I will probably choose between Stanford and UCSB. But honestly, I'm not sure which one yet, but I'll have to see what their offers are.

Now, onto plans.

I'm planning on visiting Stanford during Mar. 10-11, for their DiscoverEE days. I'm so excited! I last visited California when I was 7, and I have long since forgotten that experience. My only knowledge of California right now is LAX, and transferring from the domestic terminal to the international terminal. Horrible experiences there, bleh.

A mere week after the Stanford visit, I'll be heading to California again, this time during spring break. The ECE department is sending 2 students (I'm one of them) to the Google headquarters in San Francisco, and Microsoft headquarters in Seattle, for alumni events. Since that's taking place from Monday-Thursday, I'm hoping to squeeze in a trip to Santa Barbara before it, and an EWB conference in Louisville after it. Here's to hoping everything works out with the trip!

That's all right now. It's 6am. It's my birthday. I've spent 8 hours working on homework today. No parties. I need to go home to sleep ughhhh. Tomorrow will be a tiring day.

-FCDH

The Supreme Court's Impartiality

Hi Readers,

Recently, the Supreme Court has been embroiled in a controversy over the impartiality of two of the Justices on the Court - namely, Scalia and Thomas. What were their crimes? Scalia held closed door planning meetings with Tea Party activists, while Thomas failed to report on 7 years of income for his wife, who had worked for Tea Party activist groups and foundations and earned quite a bit of money from it.

Why are so many people up in arms over it? Because the Supreme Court holds immense power in the US. These powers can be both reactionary or revolutionary. Reactionary means that they can react to anything that has happened - meaning they can overturn any law that is passed by the Congress, or any judicial ruling of any lower court (should they accept the writ of certiorari decision to review the case). Revolutionary in the sense that they can create any precedents they choose, in the forms of their rulings, which will be afterward used as the de facto law of the land in the eyes of the judicial system.

In a sense, the Supreme Court is an authoritarian element, present to counterbalance the democracy that is prevalent in the US. They are the guiding forces of Congress, and sets limits on what is constitutional and what is not. Though the constitution does not seek to intrude into the lives of the individuals, the Supreme Court has the ability to extend or diminish the reach of government as they wish.

It is common for the Justices to have political views - indeed, they are usually categorized by whether they are in the "liberal" or "conservative" bloc of Justices. However, the rulings of the Justices must always be in the best interests of the people, which should always be solidly backed up by their written concurring or dissenting opinions at the end of a case. Because of this immense power, many politicians in the US are worried about Thomas and Scalia's actions, because it brings politics and political games into the neutral ground of the Justices.

Democratic lawmakers are now in the process of introducing legislation to counter this perceived politicization of the court. However, I believe that no matter what Scalia and Thomas does, the Supreme Court must remain impartial and free from the influence of government. Justices will come and go, but the structure will always be there. It is important for the structure to remain untainted by government, or we will be setting a precedent outside of the intent of the Founders.

Now with that being said, I think what Scalia and Thomas are doing is despicable. They are totally dragging the Supreme Court's impartiality through the mud. Imagine if Sotomayor's husband worked for the ACLU, or if Kagan held closed-door meetings with worker unions - the Republicans would be 100% guaranteed out for blood. In addition, their "impartiality", or lack of, is very visible.

The Democrats want to change the ruling on the Citizens United case, which opened the doors to political donations to political campaigns. I don't blame them - I see it as a disgusting intrusion of corporations into government, completely bypassing and eliminating the opinions of the people. As if corporate political lobbies were not enough, corporations can now directly control political campaigns.

I place the blame equally on the shoulders of the conservative justices and the liberal lawyers at the ruling. In my opinion, the defining point was when the justices baited the lawyer with a question involving content regulation, twisted so that the lawyer's response seemed like he was supporting censorship. But regardless of the outcome, the process is done, and we will need to wait until another ruling comes to overturn it...if it ever comes. In another decade or so, the American president could be a simple puppet of corporations, or not. Only time will tell.

-FCDH

Stanford!

Hi Readers,

I got exciting news yesterday! A day after posting that last depressing post about not hearing back from grad schools, I got the good news from Stanford!

I was sitting in my digital signals processing class when I opened my email and saw the innocuous-looking email, titled "Stanford Electrical Engineering - (name)", and immediately though "oh crap, I got rejected from Stanford. No big deal - I wasn't expecting it anyways. My application was kinda crappy. Maybe if...." All these flashed through my mind as I clicked the email open, reading to be disappointed.

At the first word, "Congratulations!", my heart jumped. I was like "omg, I got in!" As I began skimming farther, the next thing that caught my eye was the word "fellowship". My heart jumped again - did I really get a fellowship? The answer - YES!

Apparently I was one of the lucky students to be awarded with the Stanford Graduate Fellowship, which will support my work at Stanford for three years. It's the highest fellowship that they can give out - so I was, and still am, extremely excited about it. Now I know what option I'll probably take if MIT turns out not to accept me!

More to follow! Just wanted a brief update on grad schools. So excited!

-FCDH

California

It's a beacon

Brightly lit, throwing harsh shadows

On the field

Surrounded by a gnarly forest

Centuries old

Scarred by fires, and ravaged by famines

Yet teeming with life

With laid-back squirrels and stylish woodpeckers

The dawn

Canaries stream toward the field

Ravenous yet orderly

Drawn to the beacon as a moth is to a flame

Outnumbered, out-maneuvered,

Scarecrows debate

About stopping the unstoppable tide

Time stops for no one

Awoken from slumber

In its peaceful nest in the midst of the corn

A canary looks toward the commotion

The beacon beckons with open arms

Across an abyss

It divides the field

It spreads across the ground, like a pestilence

The scarecrows are oblivious

The canary is pensive

Will the abyss reach the beacon?

Will the abyss reach the nest?

Time never stops.

The abyss reaches the canary's heart.

Time never stops.

-FCDH

02/14/2011

Tomorrow Can't Come Any Faster

Hi Readers,

I'm totally crashing right now. I think I'm in denial over the amount of work that I have. This semester sucks so much. I hate my life right now. I've got my 536 book open, but I've only managed to read like 5 pages in the last hour. It is incomprehensible. Why do I do this to myself?

I just want out of here. I just wish I had a concrete yes or no for either grad school or full time work. Two of my friends got acceptances today, to Stanford and Columbia. I've gotten nothing, heard nothing.

People always say that I will get into anywhere I want. I used to believe it, but now I don't anymore. I wish I had spent more time on my grad school applications, maybe made them better. Or perhaps if I had started interviewing for full time jobs in the fall instead of waiting until now.

I can't go out anymore on the weekends. I have gotten no work done over the last 3 weekends while I had fun. I'm paying for it right now, but I've almost used up all my credits.

I feel so happy for my friends who have gotten into their dream grad schools.

I no longer know if I will even go to grad school. What is the point? Everybody I know is more miserable in grad school than they would be working in industry. So I'm interviewing for full-time positions, to the shock of my friends. Some of the jobs seem like a step-down for the skills I have developed doing research. Should I care that anyone could do this job? Should I settle for less?

I no longer know. What is "less"? How is it even defined?

Why am I even speculating when I know nothing? I hate the wait. I need to stop checking facebook and seeing other people's happy statuses.

Tomorrow will be better. I hope.

Hotel California just came on my iTunes. Fuck yeah. I can deal with the damn waveguide physics now.

-FCDH