To My Family

My blog is rife with criticisms of my family, so I'd like to take the time to acknowledge my gratefulness to my family, lest people start believing that my family has influenced me negatively. A few instances here and there cannot diminish the fact that my family loves me, and only wants what is best for me.

The Taiwan that I grew up in was a very strict society, where children my age were basically lumped together by their academic performance. It was a complete meritocracy, which has its advantages and disadvantages. Everybody was pressured to do well in school, and I was naturally not exempt from this. Everything was about success - either do it right, or don't do it at all. This motto was drilled into me since childhood, and I was only able to begin shedding it off during my first year of university.

I love my family for the discipline that they have brought me. In a time where individualistic desires and "stick-it-to-the-Man" thoughts have pervaded the thoughts of the new generation, discipline especially comes in handy. I love them for teaching me the ways of treating others as you want to be treated, because it has helped me immensely in building my network of friends and acquaintances.

Most of all, I love them for doing what they believe is right for me, even though it is always risky on their part. They punished me physically because it is the easiest way to instill discipline in a child, while taking the risk that I could grow up to hate them forever. They pushed me into my university and my major even though I wanted to do something else, because of the bright future that an ECE degree from Illinois has, even though it would put them $100,000 more into debt compared to a Canadian university. They fought with me over the issue of my sexuality, because it is a hard world out there for gay people, and they wanted me to avoid the hardships that will face me in the future.

Mom, Dad, and Jess, I appreciate everything you've done for me. My biggest wish for all of you now, is for you to stop worrying about me. You've made me into the person I am today, so that I can use the skills that you gave me to face the world on my own. It's time for you to live and enjoy your own lives, rather than helping me live mine.

It's the time to abandon rigidity and planning, for a little bit more spontaneity and discovery. Life is more enjoyable that way.

Love,

FCDH

Climbed Mt. Fuji!

Hi Readers!

I climbed Mt. Fuji last weekend with some friends and it was an absolutely horrendous experience...raining and windy and cold. Literally there were moments I thought that we were going to die on the mountain without feeling warmth again. We climbed through the whole night (7pm-4am) in the miserable condition. Rested at one of the midway huts (8.5) for an hour to warm up. I bought gloves and instant noodles on the mountain to try and warm myself up...didn't work too well but probably helped me survive. I think I walked the entire way up with my head down, trying to keep the blowing rain out my face. Near the top my backpack began to freeze as it was below freezing. We got to the top, there was no sunrise - just a bunch of clouds and fog obstructing everything in view. But then as we proceeded down, voila! The clouds disappeared and the gorgeous landscape came into view.

Everything we suffered on the way up was forgotten. Cameras were taken out. Millions of transistors were recharged or discharged with new digitized picture data.

It was a great and memorable day. I'll never forget the experience. I'll be back here another time.

PS: Some pictures below!

-FCDH

Our starting group, 14 people.

One view from the top.

Another view from the top.

Life Without a Cellphone

Hey Readers,

So it's been probably a month and a half since I last used a cellphone. It's been pretty weird, not being constantly connected to the world. Well, not being AS connected to the world as I'd like (I still facebook and gmail everyday...). But having survived for this long without a cellphone, I think it'd be cool to talk about this experience and about technology in general.

There are some major things that are different, and some that are the same. For example, my pockets are now light enough that I don't have to wear belts when wearing my baggy shorts. But I still feel phantom vibrations (when you think you feel the phone vibrating but it's actually not). The worst one: I actually need to plan out social outings with friends in advance now. Kind of annoying when your friends have cells and you don't. Not having a cellphone is probably the biggest reason why I think I've regressed socially this summer in Japan (doesn't help that most Japanese people here are also very anti-social..).

But in a way it's kinda nice. When I have a phone and I'm alone by myself, I'm usually tempted to call my friends and hang out, do something....anything to not be alone by myself. But without a phone, since there's really nothing I can do, I guess I've had to stop thinking about being with others, and just enjoy being with myself. The less connected I am with the world around me, the more connected I become with myself. It's definitely an unexpected side effect. Though granted, most people around me don't have phones (and I probably saved a lot of money by not getting it), so to me it doesn't seem like a big loss.

It's interesting, because when I first arrived in Japan by myself...I thought to myself, that I wasn't going to do what I had traditionally always done during my summers: to crave English interactions, friends, to drink and party a lot, and other stuff. I wanted Japan to be different, to try to be fully immersed in the culture. But slowly it's been slowly reverting back to what I wanted to avoid. I've made friends here (both English and non-English), and I do find myself craving human interactions most of the time. But not having a phone is definitely helping me become more self-sufficient with being alone.

Ironically, it is helping me become less shy at the same time. Because I can't just call up my friends and ask to hang out with them, when somebody I know asks me if I want to join them for a party or dinner, I now jump at the chance, even if I will not know most of the people there. Since I can't call up my friends to see what they are doing later, my choice has really already been made for me...and so ironically, I'm pretty sure I've made more acquaintances and friends in Japan than I would have if I had a cellphone.

What a weird coincidence! Not having a cellphone is helping me learn how to be alone AND more social at the same time. (I didn't think through everything when I started this post and now I'm pretty amazed at this turn of events). This is cool! But perhaps I will stick with a cellphone when I return to the US =). All for now!

PS: Will be climbing Mt. Fuji tomorrow (Saturday)....so nervous!!!

-FCDH

An Incomplete Requiem

Today morning, I found out about a tragedy. One of my friends, who was also one of my biggest role models that I looked up to, died this past weekend. The cause of death is still unknown as of yet...but that doesn't change how I feel about the loss. I feel as if the world has been robbed of all the talents and skills that she possessed, and all her friends robbed of her companionship.

She was a metaphorical giant amongst other overachievers. One of the legendary originals of Engineers Without Borders...one of the most renown, most feared, and most respected. Her name was always spoken with a certain reverence. In her presence, you knew you were in the presence of someone who could get things done, who had the foresight of a leader, and who has seen success numerous times.

At the same time, she was caring about those around her. For those who wanted advice, she gave it. For those who wanted a helping hand, she offered it. For those who wanted to make a difference, she made sure that they did not quit, and offered encouragement for their success.

You were one of my biggest role models. You were an untouchable in my mind...I strived so hard to live up to the potential of the foundations that you and others laid for Engineers Without Borders. Even now I am not sure I have succeeded, but you were always at the back of my mind, urging me forward, not to quit. In my mind, you could do no wrong.

But your invincibility was shattered in my mind today. Why?? Why did this have to happen?? There was so much more that you could have done, so much more you could have taught, so much more you could have experienced...there was such a bright future ahead for you.

So much died with you. Even now, I still cannot comprehend the magnitude of the loss that we are all suffering from your passing. I can still see your face in my mind...you chuckling at my disillusionment of EWB... you idly asking about my day when we pass on the street... your humorous conversations during the EWB bar crawl...

Did you hear my whispers to you today as I rode past the idyllic rice paddies? Wherever you are...I have faith that you will be able to make as much difference there as you have in this life. I cannot stop the tears from coming to my eyes right now, but I will try to be happy for you, wherever you are. Your spirit will live on in us forever.

Like a luminescent bubble soaring upwards in the breeze, let the brilliance of your soul and spirit shimmer on forever...always visible in our minds and our hearts.

Until we meet again, my friend.

Rest In Peace.

-FCDH

Israel's Slow Leftward Transition?

Hi Readers!

Update first. I went to Tokyo yesterday (Saturday) with two of my French friends, who were meeting their other 2 French friends in Tokyo to go have fun. I ended up being the odd one out, being the only person with English as a primary language, since everybody else was speaking French to each other. But since I could speak some French it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I will admit - it was still a somewhat annoying trip into Tokyo, almost not worth the $14 train ticket. But one thing rescued it from being a complete disaster (in my opinion) - one of the French guys we met at Shibuya station was probably the most attractive guy I've ever seen in my life. Granted he said like 3 sentences to me the entire night and probably doesn't even know my name, but that in itself put the night up from 'complete borefest' to 'barely tolerable'.

Anyways, today's topic: Israel (again as usual). I don't really know why I focus on Israel so much - I mean, there's loads of international issues like Krygyzstan's presidential election, or Poland's presidential election, etc. etc. I guess I find the moral gray area for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict more interesting to blog about. So here goes.

There's one thing about Google News that bothers me slightly. It's that the "international news" sections has a lot of news about Israel, but often from the 3 Israeli News Outlets: Haaretz, Jerusalem Post, and another one (Ynet or something similar). I usually get quite annoyed and pissed off at these...because they have SUCH one-sided pro-Israel viewpoints that it was disgusting. During the Gaza conflict, these were the headlines that read "Gaza War justified and legal despite alleged humanitarian violations"...during the Biden-settlement issue, these were also the ones saying "Settlements justified...Americans can go to hell...blah blah blah." I used to think it was complete and utter garbage, like Fox News in the US.

But lately, since the Mavi Marmara incident (Turkish ship tried to run blockade and ended up with 9 people dead by Israeli commandos), I've noticed that these media sources are surprisingly docile, and even somewhat anti-Israeli government. There are news and opinion articles lambasting the government's response to the ship, the "neutral committee" that has no authority and no international approval, and the current failed blockade on Gaza. Even as Erdogan, Turkey's Prime Minister, blasts Israel for the killing of 9 Turks on board the ship, and as Turkish relations with Israel continues to deteriorate, I actually found many articles on both JP and Haaretz saying "it's not their fault...it's ours". I was quite flabbergasted by the 180 turn from their usual reporting.

I wonder if this is an indication of Israel's gradual shift leftwards. Ever since Netanyahu took over, Israel's only been embroiled in crisis after crisis. Watching their world status plummet over and over again, as Hamas remains as firmly in control of Gaza as ever, as Ahmadinejad continues his flaming rhetoric against Israel, as their biggest Muslim ally Turkey slid away from them...I'd imagine the media is becoming more and more hard-pressed to support the government. As media is probably the most effective method of controlling people, this may be just the first indication of the backlash against Netanyahu's government.

It'd be similar if we saw MSNBC turn against the Democrats, or Fox News turn against Republicans. Though I doubt either would ever happen...but it'd be quite the sight to see.

-FCDH

Love the World...by Yourself

Hi Readers!

First, an update.

It's been another busy week! I finally finished my 109-slide powerpoint for work (whew!) documenting pretty much everything I ever learned about semiconductors, as well as some new things I learned about the use of diamond in UV detectors. Seriously, I could probably use this to give a couple of lectures and seminars on semiconductors. My supervisor assigned me the ppt 3 weeks ago, and I went back in a week with 30 slides (which I thought was long enough)...and he was like "why is it so short? 50 slides should be the absolute minimum and you should be aiming for 100!" So voila...109 slides. (There will be people sleeping in my powerpoint presentation next week, no doubt about it. =P) Next week I should be starting to actually do the hands on research, which I am excited about! Just hope that theoretical results will be reflected in our experimental results.

So this blog post is concerning a topic which I find intriguing. It's about loving the world...without the influence of others. I am somewhat curious about how other people perceive the world. Here's some background info.

It seems that, everywhere I seem to go in the world, people view partying and drinking and socializing as THE way to relax and spend your Friday nights. As humans are naturally social creatures (apart from some people), it seems only natural to do this. But lately I've began to deviate and reject this approach to having fun. Sure, you might meet interesting people in a bar, or get drunk and have fun...but at the end, it seems so superficial. It is beginning to feel like a chore, to constantly hang around your friends, to seek pleasure from your interactions with them. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I don't like to think that I am dependent upon others for my enjoyment.

Therefore, I've started to peel away from some of the more "social" activities here in Japan. Instead of going with the big group of researchers to drink coffee after lunch, I now go for long bike rides by myself in the free hour we have. I've discovered beautiful farmland and scenery, and I take joy in discovering new places, and getting lost amongst the winding roads in Japan. I feel so free, when I am by myself and can simply wander as I wish, not needing an itinerary or doing what I've traditionally done, which was to cram as much in as possible and to do what everyone else was doing.

I asked a friend a couple of days ago, what he thought the real purpose of tourism was. In my mind, many people simply visit famous places and take pictures, so that they can show others "hey I was here!". I used to be one of these people. But here again, is an "others"-oriented approach. I believe that tourism should be no different than living life. If I don't really care about seeing the Eiffel Tower when I am in Paris..why would I visit it? But others would say ("you traveled all the way to Paris and didn't see the Eiffel Tower?")

Last summer, I was in Madrid, and I used to look upon my fellow students' behaviors with somewhat astonishment. They traveled all the way to Spain...to go relax in the city park on a Saturday afternoon? I snubbed my nose at them and I traveled to Segovia instead...but when I look back, it wasn't really the better decision by any means. I didn't really care about seeing the Cathedral there, only about taking pictures of everything I could see there, so I could prove that I didn't waste my time in Spain.

Prove to who? Others. But should I have to care what others think about my trip to Spain or how I use my time? No.

I'm conflicted about how to state my point that I am trying to make in this post, or even how to create a coherent point from a vague feeling I have. It's not that friends are not necessary - they are, definitely. But I feel that it is extremely important to become self-sufficient in society. The people I see, who go to bars every weekend, come across as somewhat needy and lacking in self-sufficiency. To crave human interactions is not a bad thing...but to spend all your free time on it seems to be somewhat destructive to personal development. Spending time by yourself, or being a loner, is not any worse than being at a party or a social gathering. But it contradicts what we are constantly bombarded with in society, that loners are not cool and live miserable lives. Ultimately, I want to be able to be comfortable and content by myself - with happiness derived from me and me alone, and not from others.

(I think I am slowly becoming a loner. Sorry for this incoherent post.)

-FCDH

Transportastic Tokyo

Hi Readers!

Hope you have enjoyed your weekends! I spent the past weekend in Tokyo, and I loved it. Not because of what the usual attractions are (shopping, culture, whatever else), but the most interesting aspect of Tokyo for me is its transportation system.

For those who don't know me well, I have several fascinations. I list them here in descending order of fascination:

-Food

-Languages

-Rapid Transit Systems / Transportation Infrastructure

-Water

This blog will concern the 3rd one: rapid transit. Out of all of these fascinations, the transportation infrastructure one is the hardest one to satisfy for me (especially because the US and Canada have quite crappy systems).

Everytime I return to Taiwan, I look forward to riding the Taipei MRT System (Metro Rapid Transit). It's so modern, fast, and efficient - and this boggles my mind. I'm looking forward to the completion of the many lines that are under construction right now.

But nothing, NOTHING, can compare to Tokyo's rail system. It's simply amazing, the way there are so many lines going every where. And there are SO MANY PEOPLE taking it, it's absolutely unreal. Below is an image from only one platform of the Shinjuku Station, at 11:30pm on a Saturday night. The train was more crowded than during rush hour in Taipei.

Everything about Tokyo's rail system is appealing to me. The warning sound before the door closes, the silently efficient motors, the Japanese feminine announcements, and the fact that there are so many ways to travel from point A to B.

Granted, it's horrendous to navigate, and I think virtually impossible without a map or prior experience. When there's something like 10+ possible trains you could take at a single station, the possibility for screwing up tends to increase.

Both Shinjuku and Shibuya were pretty bad for this, both being gigantic stations that probably holds tens of thousands of people at any one time.

I don't know why it interests me so, but navigating the Tokyo railway system was the most interesting thing that I did in Tokyo. I am especially proud at having navigated myself from Shibuya to Ueno, and then walked all the way to Akihabara station, without getting lost. =)

The Rest of Tokyo (that is not trains)

Places I visited in Tokyo:

-Shibuya crossing (picture above - way too overrated)

-Shinjuku (station itself is the main attraction)

-Asakusa (I've visited here before with my mom!)

-Ueno (Park is nice and I had Tom Yom Ramen!)

-Akihabara (I spent 3 hours reading manga here)

-Ookayama (Shunji's house is small but cozy)

Hanging out with the IAESTE Japan group was amazingly fun. I practiced and learned so much Japanese, and I made a lot of new friends. Hanging out at Shunji's house afterwards was also fun (I just wish it hadn't been so hot so I could have slept more than 3 hours...but it's not a big deal). Overall, it was an extremely fun experience. I'm looking forward to (potentially) taking the Shinkansen, but we'll see if that's possible.

So now that Tokyo's checked off the list, next subway system to visit will be Moscow's system. I have high hopes for Soviet realism and 80km/h subway cars =).

Ja Mata! / じゃまた！/ See you later!

-FCDH